Boring Company Concerned Regarding Lack of Recent Controversy Expected with Any Musk Company

Boring Company Concerned Regarding Lack of Recent Controversy Expected with Any Musk Company

(LAS VEGAS, NV)  With heavy equipment continuing to roll into town, large machines being assembled, fencing installed, and final permits to begin digging showing up right on time for the company’s upcoming Loop project at the Las Vegas Convention Center, representatives from The Boring Company quietly remain concerned about the lack of drama, sensational headlines and cries of impending bankruptcy that has come to be expected with any business venture tied to billionaire Elon Musk. “It’s quiet, too quiet,” a source within the company asking to remain anonymous said. “Anytime Elon puts his name on something – hell – anytime somebody sees a Musk logo – we expect the haters and naysayers to come out in droves. It’s actually come to be expected – whether you work for Tesla, SpaceX, Neuralink, and yeah – even here at Boring.” He continued as he stared across the street longingly at the new Version 3 Superchargers recently installed under the Linq Ferris Wheel, “The night we won that initial bid in Chicago to dig from O’Hare to downtown, we thought we finally hit the big time. We couldn’t even make it out the front door of city hall because of the protesters! We heard there might be some angry TSLAQ folk there too, and they had to usher us out the back through the mayor’s entrance to protect us. The next day was great. We were all over the news, with haters on every channel and website.  I mean of course we were expecting something negative from Fred, but even Teslarati said we were full of it.  Since that night though, it’s been downhill as far as controversy.  That was our last night in the spotlight.”

This constant flogging is not only seen as part of the job, but as an expectation in Musk companies. Our source continued, “ At the big Musk functions (management and executives from all five companies get together twice a year), if you don’t have a couple good stories about cow blood or used motor oil getting tossed at you, or getting death threats aimed at your family, people start thinking you may be straying from the vision.”

Other employees onsite at the Loop project expressed similar concern. One said his wife would be prouder and more supportive if he worked for a more “controversial” brand like Tesla. “She appreciates the paycheck I guess, but says she thinks the other company employees who get their cars keyed or windows smashed over in the Fremont parking lot probably have more exciting home lives or something.” He went on, “Even when I showed her the YouTube videos of people shooting the flamethrowers she was like, ‘Meh.’”

The pattern seems to be true.  According to research, there is absolutely no correlation between Boring Company successes or failures and Tesla stock price – not even a tenth of a point. “When we’re digging, I’m always thinking about how we can be more controversial.  I mean the Christmas party is coming up soon.  If I don’t have a story about how we were like 12 hours from bankrupt or how we accidentally drilled into a hospital basement during surgery, cutting the power and killing somebody, I don’t know what I’ll do.  I guess if they fire me I could get a job in a lithium mine or something with my experience.”

Leaving the job site, we saw two workers installing a large Boring Company banner, and the last thing overheard was, “Hey, if we dig just a little bit to the right instead of straight, we’d probably drill into the big safe in the basement of that casino.”

Norman’s Take

Twitter @spotted_model

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Fred Green Tomatoes

Just another Tesla fan out there fighting the good fight against clickbait and FUD every single day, while balancing with a healthy sense of humor. In it for the long-term health of our world - not the money. Follow me @spotted_model. Abstract Ocean promo code “ISAM3”

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