As the quarter comes to an end, Tesla finds itself in the midst of an extreme toilet paper surplus

As the quarter comes to an end, Tesla finds itself in the midst of an extreme toilet paper surplus

While we all may be focusing on delivery numbers and how finances for this quarter are shaping up to be, we seem to have missed the big picture; What’s with all the toilet paper?

We know from numerous reports that Tesla has recently been focusing upon company expansion. This focus on expansion primarily falls on hiring employees in order to serve existing customers better. Tesla takes a great approach by keeping up with owners and expanding the service and customer service workforce. What we did not know was that this expansion effort extended all the way to toilet paper. 

Sources familiar with the matter are reporting large amounts of excess toilet paper lying around stores and factories. This apparently has flown under the radar for months, until recently when images taken from within the factory surfaced, showing just how much there is. Our sources tell us that the excess paper is being stashed in every empty space available to Tesla. The only exception that there seems to be is restrooms themselves. 

As the toilet paper piles up around the production lines and delivery centers, the question must be asked: Why? 

When we reached out to Tesla for comment, they profusely denied that there was anything of the sort, and expressed that the reports were heavily misguided. Clearly, they do not want the public to know of the toilet paper empire that they have amassed. Only time will tell why they have placed such a heavy and secretive focus on toilet paper

Norman’s Take: 

At this point, your guess is as good as mine.

Of course, with Tesla, they’re always working on delightful surprises. Perhaps Elon has something else up his sleeve, like an extension to fart mode? 

I personally think it is much bigger than that. Although I have a few theories, I’m leaning toward the theory that Tesla may have started as a futuristic car company as a distraction for their true intentions: The toilet paper business 

 But we must look beyond that to figure out what it could mean for the company as a whole.

Cover up to hide parking lots of cars? Cover up to hide news of no demand? You decide.

If you already have enough toilet paper, then you can buy a Tesla instead, here’s a referral code: https://www.tesla.com/referral/meenakshi3819

Lam Fredbert

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3 thoughts on “As the quarter comes to an end, Tesla finds itself in the midst of an extreme toilet paper surplus

  1. They need to work on their “just in time” logistics. A “you’ll get your three squares when you need them” plan would reduce inventory storage costs.

  2. Let me first say that I love the car, and that I stand behind Elon and his mission. Now that I’ve said that I love the car and I’m behind the mission, I’m not really going to say anything else.

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