12 Step Program for Tesla Addiction Recovery

12 Step Program for Tesla Addiction Recovery

The title of this article might err on the side of clickbait, however journalism is tough, even more so when you have a Tesla addiction.

We’re here to report on a life and death topic, Tesla Addiction. Is it like other addictions? Well a member of the community seems to have sought the answers. It even seems to be affecting his ability to grammar good.

With a little over 1,500 respondents to his poll, the results are as scientific as the polls predicting Hillary Clinton’s presidency.

Results are showing 96% of people believe they may be addicted to Tesla, that beats out the addiction rates for all other drugs combined! Elon’s been selling the good stuff.

How did these people fall into the unfortunate trap, and become addicted?

Well apparently, addiction can be passed on to your offspring.

This addict moved on to the more dangerous drug that is Tesla, from the less risky Apple substance.

Seems Tesla Addiction results in you listening to your kids more, a good side effect? You decide.

Seems like Twitter can be used to enhance Tesla’s effects.

This person experienced the physical side effects of Tesla on pure sight, and seems to liken it to love it self. Is Tesla a drug that can simulate love? Elon has mentioned the importance of love on a number of occasions.

This individual actually uses Tesla’s performance stats as a new measuring system, well anything is better than imperial right? It’s hard to build accurately, when you use your foot to measure everything.

Seems partners everywhere are considering divorcing their spouses over this addiction.

An addiction that you can be proud of? Addicts everywhere should be flocking to Tesla.

It seems this Mother Frunker nearly gets into accidents due to his Tesla addiction, forgetting that other cars don’t have self driving capabilities.

Seems Elon visits people when they’re sleeping…

Well that’s why we’re here isn’t it Nola?

So the twelve steps you were promised, involve buying a Tesla using the referral code from one of these individuals, reasons to use each persons code are inline:

  1. @Jennerator211, so dedicated to the outreach she’s lost her voice, no referrals yet, https://www.tesla.com/en_CA/referral/jennifer82691.
  2. @mikel21, because he’s struggling to convince his “friends”, http://ts.la/mike43294.
  3. @DHTRKBA, because this person’s friends keep forgetting to use his code, https://www.tesla.com/referral/daniel32291.
  4. @baked76, because John doesn’t have a YouTube channel, https://www.tesla.com/referral/john14299.
  5. @brunosilva, his friends get free rides, but won’t buy, http://ts.la/bruno11455.
  6. @th3_tesla_grind, Canis desperately wants to see more Tesla’s on the road, https://ts.la/donald53211.
  7. @Prince_Tweet, claims to have sold many cars, but no one uses his code, https://www.tesla.com/referral/prince56097.
  8. @GHoop7, because it’s the right thing to do! https://www.tesla.com/referral/george79407.
  9. @ebizinc, won’t share his code unless you ask, and has assisted with over 50 deliveries, including on NYE, volunteer employee?
  10. @razemfrazem, because she’s always late to the party, https://www.tesla.com/en_CA/referral/kristin4607
  11. @rich_teer, for no reason at all, https://www.tesla.com/referral/rich45722
  12. @TeslaGong, because his code is so 2013:

Norman’s Take

Addiction and drug abuse are real problems, and we recommend you reach out for professional help, Earlectrek is not professional, if you thought it was, I’m sorry to disappoint you. We make no warranty on the advice offered in this article, or really any article.

If none of the reasons above satisfied you, you can always use Aaron’s code: https://ts.la/aaron21086.

Not a Fredthrower

Just having some fun here @ Earlectrek. If you need help convincing someone that a Tesla Model 3 is cheaper than whatever air poisoning vehicle they're currently driving, show them this: https://model3.money.

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