Ford Unveils Mustang Mach E, the First Vehicle from Project Oh, Sh!t

Ford Unveils Mustang Mach E, the First Vehicle from Project Oh, Sh!t

(HAWTHORNE, CA) – Sunday, Ford Motor Company unveiled the Mustang Mach E, the first vehicle developed under Ford’s project “Oh, Shit.” Created after Tesla received more than 400,000 reservations for the Model 3 before shipping a single vehicle, project “Oh, Shit” is intended to keep Ford from falling too far behind the upstart electric vehicle manufacturer.

Leaked documents confirm the project is officially titled “Oh, Shit. People really do want compelling electric vehicles and Tesla is making them and we don’t” or OSPRDWCEVTMTWD for short. The goal of project “Oh, Shit” was to design and produce an electric vehicle that people might actually want to buy. To that end, Ford looked at each EV they have produced and did the opposite.

The Mach E is clearly designed to compete against the upcoming Tesla Model Y. The range, acceleration, space and price are strikingly similar. Both are midsize crossovers. Both have large touch screens and minimal physical controls. The vehicles are so similar that an uniformed bystander would be forgiven for thinking the Mach-E is simply a Tesla with different sheet metal.

A spokesperson for Ford said “We only made compliance cars like the Focus E so we could keep selling monster SUVs. The cars were just barely usable, so nobody bought them, and naturally we assumed nobody wanted EVs. It’s not like we were in collusion with the other automakers. At least not at the time.” Ford, along with General Motors, Chrysler, Toyota, Honda and several others, entered the International Automobile Manufacturers Collusion to Restrict Acceptably Performing Electric Vehicles (IAMCRAPEV) agreement in 1999. The stunning success of the Tesla Model 3 changed the automotive landscape so much that Ford left IAMCRAPEV in 2018 and began project “Oh, Shit.”

Ford Chairman William “Bill” Clay Ford Jr said at the Mustang Mach E unveiling “We didn’t think anyone would ever make an electric vehicle people actually wanted. Then along comes Tesla and they kick us in the pants yabbies. That’s why we left IAMCRAPEV. Everything Tesla does turns to gold eventually. When they announced a truck, that was our real ‘Oh, Shit’ moment.”

Only two American car companies have never filled for bankruptcy, Ford and Tesla. Said Mr. Ford, “project ‘Oh, Shit’ is our attempt to keep it that way. Now we wait and see if people want a Tesla Model Y with a pony on it.”

Norman’s Take

By all measures the Mach E is a really nice EV. It looks good, range is decent, comes in AWD and the price is competitive. Well done Ford, and welcome to the party! Now bring on the electric F-150.

Still, buy a Tesla.

Fred Fredly

Fred Fredly got tired of driving slow, stinky polluting cars so he bought a Tesla. Despite appearances to the contrary, he does actually wash his car from time to time.