Everything We Know About the Tesla Cybertruck

Everything We Know About the Tesla Cybertruck

Here at Earlectrek we believe in hard hitting, entirely factual, investigative journalism with no hyperbole. So on the eve of the Tesla Cybertruck reveal, the most anticipated event in human history, we have decided to publish an exhausting list of all verifiable facts about the most important vehicle of all time.

Yes, that’s the entire list of confirmed specifications. Nothing. Nada. Nil.

However, the crack team here at Earlectrek were able to obtain top secret documents substantiating the following CyberTruck specifications:

  • Not a minivan
  • Range between 0 and 7000 miles per charge, maybe more
  • Not Diesel powered
  • Does not have only three wheels in a tricycle configuration
  • Definitely not a minivan
  • Does not use a turbo charger
  • Will not come in special pink Hello Kitty trim (not positive about this)
  • Will contain between one and elebenty screens
  • 0-60 and probably much much more
  • Does not run macOS, iOS, or Windows XP
  • Does not ship with truck nuts
  • No Mustard Dispenser
  • Does not come with the alien queen from Aliens
  • It wont have traditional door handles…………….probably
  • Seriously, it’s not a minivan

Earlectrek has multiple writers attending the event, in person if our Elon Musk costume works, otherwise virtually so tune back in tomorrow for updated coverage!

Fred Fredly

Fred Fredly got tired of driving slow, stinky polluting cars so he bought a Tesla. Despite appearances to the contrary, he does actually wash his car from time to time.