New Colors for Tesla

Today Tesla announced a series of new paint colors specifically curated for cold weather climates. While unveiling the new colorways Tesla Chief Designer Franz von Holzhausen said “I was on a ski vacation and noticed that all the cars were some sort of earth tone. If that’s what people want then we decided that’s what we should give them.”

The new colors are Salty Silver, Grimy Grey, Wash me White, Bathe me Blue MagClor-Red and Blech (also known as “Why did I by black?”).

The new colors will be available only in select areas beginning with the Rocky Mountains, followed by Canada, the US North East and finally the Mid-West. The colors will not be sold in Arizona, Southern California (although special orders may be available for buyers in the Sierras) or Germany.

Part of a focus on blending in with nature, the new colors show an earthier side to the otherwise flashy designs.

Said von Holzhausen “We are excited to introduce a revolutionary shift in automotive paint colorways. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m meeting Elon for the premier of the new Ashton Kutcher movie Dude, Wash My Car.”